page Orb pedde

apricots and ideas

2011-10-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

Its been a month and a half. I've been my own boss for almost two months and its been amazing. I'm not making any money yet, but its amazing.

What have I been doing, you ask? I've enjoyed my days and worked at night. I've picked pounds and pounds of apricots and edited artist bios for friends/clients. I've painted and laughed with Jack and tried to wrap my brain around php code. This new world of work is all about end products and ideas--and I'm a really good idea girl. Those can be worked on anytime.

Creativity, at least personal creativity, has been a little dry. I'm trying to being patient, it will return.

The Spooky Calm

2011-09-08T21:28:00.000-07:00

Deep breath. Well, I've finally done it. After ten years of being RMSP Page I quit my job. I've always threatened to see what else was out there. I finally decided to stop playing around in the shallow end by taking side jobs and small projects here and there, and dive into deeper water.

I do have a plan. I've been choreographing this move for years now, so of course I have a plan. Despite that fact, at times I feel like maybe this isn't the best time for a life change. I don't know why I feel this way (biggest recession we've seen in years, all the economic gloom and doom, a growing family, etc)? So how do I know this is the right move? I know because with each mind numbing moment of panic that comes through out the day, when it subsides I'm left with a complete sense of calm. Its a spooky calm. The kind that permeates every cell in your body and makes you grin like a fool no matter what is happening around you.

I kind of love it.

carnival ride: western montana fair

What does a baby see? early summer.

2011-06-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

From 6 months on, infants are said to have 20/40 vision, not too shabby. However, in my experience they have a pretty intense case of tunnel vision. When their eyes lock onto something, the have an iron clad focus that is rarely broken by anything else. And now that he moves on his own, forget about it.

There will probably be a lot of hands and feet since much of Jack's attention is on the objects within reach.

where does the time go?

2011-06-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

I've been procrastinating. That's putting it gently. I've been avoiding my blog and my photography like the plauge. My "What does a baby see" project had been progressing at a nice clip until I had to face the inevitable. Jack is growing up. Its not that his tiny newborn clothes no longer fit him, or the teeth. Its not even the fact that he's crawling. All these things I've come to terms with relatively peacefully and have loved each new milestone.

I'm more in denial about his vision not being blurry anymore. I know it sounds terribly vain and self centered so let me explain. I'm happy, no, I'm ecstatic that he has terrific vision, but it left me in a lurch when it came to my photography project. I started the whole thing as a way to relate to this little person who did a whole lot of eating, sleeping and staring when he was born. Now that he is laughing, crawling, making jokes (at least he thinks its hilarious to throw things on the floor for me to pick up over and over...) I don't need to take photographs of what he sees to understand the way the world looks to him. Now that his vision is better we essentially see the same things.

I was pretty close to throwing in the towel, calling it good, it was fun while it lasted. This weekend, however, I was re-inspired. There is still a whole world that Jack is exploring and experiencing. While we see the same things, we still seem them so differently. So, I'm including a few final images from the good old blurry days. I took them on our big trip to Hawaii (more on that later). The new, sharper images will be posted soon.

What does a baby see? the mountain ash

2011-03-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Jack has been pretty interested in this tree the past week or so. It happens to be in his line of sight from several of his usual hangouts, the play-mat in the middle of our living room and his high chair. The tree is a mountain ash and has red berries that hang from the limbs during the winter. With nothing other then branches and berries, and occasionally snow, its quite beautiful. When the wind is blowing the branches around Jack is especially captivated by this tree. I think the red in contrast with the grey winter sky is what does it.

Every spring a huge flock of Cedar Waxwings come and feast on the fermenting berries. Jack was pretty fascinated by this process. Not only was the tree moving around like crazy but hundreds of birds darting in and out of branches, passing berries back and forth, the entire flock coming and going in the blink of an eye, was almost more than an six month old could handle. But he couldn't take his eyes off the scene. In one day, one afternoon really, almost all the berries were gone. The birds left as quickly as they came and the tree was still. Despite its new bare limbs, Jack is still quite fond of the tree.

Spring vs. Winter

2011-03-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

This has been a long winter. I love winter, don't get me wrong. I might even go so far as to say its my favorite season. This year, however, I'm pretty ready for spring. The weather is finally warming up and for the first time since November the snow has melted revealing grass, pavement, and dirt; a grimy scene I never thought I would celebrate. Winter isn't letting go very easily though. It snows at night then melts during the day. The epic battle of seasons, in my backyard.

What does a baby see? nap time

2011-02-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

...and this is what a Mom sees.
There's nothing quite like a happy baby after a nap. I'll think I hear a noise coming from Jack's room, not crying more like talking, but softly and intermittently. I've become an expert at the art of opening noisy, 70 year old doors silently. Its the right combination of pressure, speed and timing. As the door slowly opens and I peek through the crack, this is what I see:

Never before has anyone been so happy to see me when they wake up. It feels amazing. I'd like to pass this on to everyone I know. Unfortunately, I am notoriously terrible to wake up. Just ask my brother and my husband, they have both felt the wrath. Someday I promise to wake up as utterly happy as Jack does.

baking.

2011-02-22T09:31:00.000-08:00

winter in montana...

2011-02-13T08:30:00.000-08:00

...means white legs and indoor pools.

What does a baby see? hotel laps

2011-02-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

I was taking photographs at a work event the other weekend. Of course Jack was with me in the carrier. He wasn't to excited to be photographing the participants and happenings of the RMSP Weekend so I was walking laps around the hotel to keep him calm. I took these after the third or fouth lap and when I noticed that he'd always calm down when we'd turn down these hallways.

What does a baby see? christmas

2011-02-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've been a bit of slacker posting Jack's view of the world. He's more and more curious, alert and awake everyday so there's less and less available time for editing.

Although he wasn't aware of the holiday or presents, he was certainly aware that there was a huge tree full of lights and reflective balls in the corner of our living room. It was certainly something to squeal about (his newest trick).

snowday

2011-02-07T08:30:00.000-08:00

ahhh sunday....

2011-02-05T13:03:00.000-08:00

I haven't been photographing much for myself lately. I shouldn't say that. I photograph Jack, what Jack sees and then occasionally I'll take some photographs for me and only me. This past Sunday I photographed a lot...while in bed. Jack and I have a morning routine of hanging out in bed. Will delivers my glorious one cup of coffee as Jack eats, plays, and laughs. Last Sunday it was snowy and cold. Will braved the elements and went snowboarding while Jack and I snuggled a little longer than usual, went and had brunch with Athena, bought some new picture books and ultimately ended up back in bed reading books and playing some more. So these are photos of Jack but they are most definitely for me because it was a great, great Sunday.

What does a baby see? driving through Idaho

2010-12-14T08:30:00.000-08:00

We drove to Idaho for Thanksgiving this year. It was bitterly cold, highs of -10 degrees and had recently snowed. Despite snow packed roads and freezing cold winds, Idaho in the winter provides some beautiful, stark landscapes--eye candy. As we drove through Carey, a small town in south central Idaho, the sun was starting to set. I couldn't help but think that a quiet but very alert Jack was taking in all the colors and the surroundings of his parent's home state; a place that never ceases to amaze us even after all these years.

What does a baby see? first snow storm

2010-12-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

The world went from brown and tan to white overnight. This years early snow fall meant Jack and I spent all day looking out the various windows of our house. I'm pretty sure it was more exciting for me.

backyard

mountain ash tree outside the dinning room window

view from the living room window

stepping out the back door

What does a baby see? Dec. 9th

2010-12-09T12:25:00.000-08:00

This has been a big month in Jack's world. Three months old almost and he's so much more aware of his surroundings. While the distinct lines in our house's architecture and contrast between paint colors still entertain him, he's noticing more and more about the world around him. I think he loves car trips and walks outside because of his fascination with trees. Here are a couple of his most recent discoveries:

trees outside the window

feet. perhaps the most exciting of discoveries to date.

our dog Camaro.

What does a baby see? Nov. 5th

2010-11-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

A few of Jack's favorite scenes from home. These are the things that catch his eyes and his teeny tiny attention span. All images taken with a 50 mm lens focused at 18 inches away from the camera.

from the couch

from the baby buggy

over the shoulder view from the rocking chair

forward facing hold going to the rocking chair

propped up on the bed 1

propped up on the bed 2

laying on the bed 1

laying on the bed 2

one month old. Oct 16th

2010-10-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

what does a baby see? Oct. 5th

2010-10-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

I read somewhere that babies of Jack's age could focus on things 18 to 25 inches from their face. If that's all they can see clearly the rest of the world must seem like a dreamy wash of colors. When Jack was 19 days old I took my camera with me on my daily walk, set the focus to 18 inches away from the lens, used my 50mm and started capturing the world the way Jack would see it.

oct. 3rd

2010-10-18T04:37:00.000-07:00

a walk and coffee stop at Le Petit Outre . oct. 3.

my new world.

2010-10-17T04:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, my last post was in June or July. I simply lost steam again. After having a brief moment this spring where I felt creative and inspired, I fell flat again. My life seemed to be consumed by my pregnancy both physically and mentally. As much as I was thinking about the little human growing in my belly, I simply didn't want to bring it to my blog. I wanted this space to be creative and less about me and more about my art. Funny how I tried to separate me from my art, can that even be done? Not really. So here it is, my life and my art all wrapped up in one.

On September 16th, at 6:50 pm Jack Walker Pedde, the little man that was inside only moments before, lay on my chest looking at me with sleepy, calm eyes. We already knew each other. I knew his sleep schedule. I knew that he liked to sit with his long legs straight out at a 90 degree angle. I even knew what music made him dance around. He knew things about me that I'll never know, the sound of my heart, what I'm like from the inside. Most importantly he knew my voice and as he lay on my chest, his pale body against my flushed skin, my voice was just about the only thing he recognized.

Needless to say, my world has been completely different since that point. So far I still feel like I'm exploring a new, exciting country and haven't started to miss the things I've left behind--and maybe I never will. One thing I'm determined to carry forward is art, whether its photography, writing or any other type of creative process. It just too important for my sanity.

Before Jack, I promised to take one photograph a day for the next year. It seemed easy enough. Well I've probably done this but most of the images are of a sleeping baby or a flash startled baby...not super exciting to the outside world. I will do my best to share the ones that are more creative and less, "mom in awe" but I'll have to throw some of those in there every once in awhile.

Waiting. Jack was five long days late. It seems like nothing now but they were the longest five days I've ever experienced.

1 day old

5 days old

Morning. 1 week old

10 days old

napping. 10 days old

I miss my feet.

2010-07-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

The slow good bye to my feet prompted me to do my very best to photograph them just to remember what they look like.

It was probably the most difficult shoot I've ever done, balancing cameras, standing in odd possitions, holding the camera above my head and shooting blind while trying to capture the perfect angle...hours of fun. There were a few I really liked but this one is one of my favorites.

Knox

2010-06-22T07:43:00.000-07:00

My sister had her baby, Knox Hudson June 4th and I was able to photograph some of his first moments.

amazing morning on petit lake.

2010-06-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

This is for my Dad who taught me to photograph and passed on his passion when I was ten. And now he lives vicariously through me and I'm 100% okay with that.

On this morning, however, it was my who mom saw the light on the lake as she woke up, photographed for a bit, and then woke my Dad and me up to share the view. The two of us, armed with cameras and outfitted in pajamas ventured out into the rain as it danced with the light across the surface of the lake. The light was short lived but the experience was amazing. I have a pretty great family.

garage t's - printing stop motion v.2

2010-06-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

Garage T's asked me to shoot a product specific group of shirts and expand my garage t's stop motion video. I am really loving the stop motion and my intervalometer.

Belly

2010-06-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

My sister was 8 months pregnant when I was visiting awhile ago. We were able to get some fun belly photographs which I've never done before.

Catch up

2010-06-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

This past month has been a whirl wind of blogging. Unfortunately, my own blog has suffered as I've been working on RMSP's blog, Paper Airplanes, which launched at the beginning of May. In all honesty, I was a little blogged out. So here I am trying to play catch up over the next few days.

I was the second shooter for a wedding in San Antonio, Texas for my friend Eileen Rafferty, which was very fun. I have to say, I love shooting weddings. As hectic and crazy as it gets its usually a good kind of crazy. Here are a few of my favorites.

Castle Frame Works

2010-05-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

I was in Sun Valley, Idaho for a quick weekend trip and had a chance to photography my brother-in-law welding his newest bike frame. He owns a custom bike frame business, Castle Frame Works.

peeps show

2010-04-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

In honor of Easter I sacrificed a package of peeps candy. The idea for this quick photo project was born this past Friday at an art opening, of all places. I was eating a peeps and discussing how they are much better slightly aged and crusty. I recalled how I rushed the aging process of marshmallows to get that desired crunch by using a microwave on the marshmallows. How does it work? Well besides changing the consistency, it grows the mallow mass about four times its original size. It's brilliant. After it shrinks back down and hardens you are left with a meringue-like delicacy. I decided to try it out on some peeps and document the changes. It of course started out with a peeps portrait session.

dream-scapes.

2010-03-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it's because my dreams have been so vivid lately. Or perhaps it's because I feel like I just woke up and things around me are oddly in focus yet fuzzy, definition slipping away at the edges. Either way, I’ve been drawn to images lately with a dream-like quality. Due to the fact that I’ve been a dream machine I can say with some certainty that there are aesthetic elements of dreams that I could curl up in and lay for hours. First of all, the details of specific scenes or people are incredibly vivid while things before and after blur together like drops of food coloring in water. Why these scenes? Why these details? If they pass through my mind just before I wake up, I find myself thinking about them for hours. The location of the dreams are equally interesting. The backdrops range from the mundane to the completely personal. In the end, while I want to question the significance of every flicker I can remember, I can’t say that I’ve found a message in this nightly parade of my subconscious. For now I’ll enjoy the show and continue to allow it to influence my photography.

The images above were taken this past weekend while on a dog walk. The clouds were just so puffy and the sky intensely blue. I was drawn to the contrast between sky and the dull landscape--just barely awake this spring. I also couldn’t resist the Mr.Rogers-esque scene looking over Missoula.

waking up from hibernation.

2010-03-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

I feel like I went to sleep around the first of the year and am only just waking up; my creativity was frozen, my mind numb and my cameras packed away. I'm not sure I've ever experienced a period quite like that before in my creative process. I've absolutely experienced the the natural ups and downs that go hand and hand with art. Even in the times that I've produced the least, the wheels have been turning and I would stock pile ideas until I was ready to try them out. Not these past two months--there was nothing. I realized one day that even my daily dog walks weren't producing the kind of mental photographs they used to. My mind was a vast waste land of artistic thought. I was asleep.

If I had gone through this period of time without any explanation I might have panicked. The truth is, I was relatively comfortable about the whole thing. While my brain was off my body was on. Thus my road to parenting began. I knew that I would be tired and possibly sick but really I had no idea the overwhelming effect it would have on every part of me. Yes I knew there was all sorts of growth and hormones and a general getting to know you period starting immediately. But did the ever growing bundle of cells that would eventually form bones and eyes and swim for months on end in my belly really need my brain? Apparently.

So here I am, two plus months later and I feel my mind yawing, stretching and looking around. It looks a little different out there these days, even after such a short period of time. I wonder if when a bear walks out of it's cave for the first time it sees the world in a different light? I still have months until my life changes in ways I've never considered. Today, however, I sense the shift. It all looks the same, yet different, even now.

more from garage tees.

2009-12-22T20:48:00.000-08:00

lightning storm in eastern montana

2009-12-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

garage tees

2009-12-18T22:47:00.000-08:00

I've being playing around with video lately. The other day I had a photo shoot at Garage Tees, a print shop in Missoula, and put stop motion and video to use.

pretty excited.

2009-12-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

My good friend Andy, aka Doctor Rosen Rosen, is an awesome musician who has been remixing like crazy. He was asked to do an official remix of one of Weezer's songs on their new album and he asked to use one of my photographs for the remix. Needless to say I'm pretty excited about it. Take a listen to the remix.
Weezer - (If You're Wondering if I Want You To) I Want You To (Doctor Rosen Rosen Rx)

slow freeze.

2009-12-03T22:44:00.000-08:00

I was really excited to see ice on the river this morning. Snow is just around the corner.

demolition

2009-11-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

tear down the old rebuild the new.

11.4.2009

2009-11-04T23:16:00.000-08:00

zion national park.

victoria, british columbia.

2009-11-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

october: photographs, hotel rooms and airports.

2009-11-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

This October took me to Canada, Utah and New York. I photographed, talked photography, dreamed photography; I all but ate photography. Airports, regardless of location, have become familiar and at times comforting. Its strange how relaxing it can be to move around in a constant state of anonymity. The other thing I've come to realize is that when I enter a hotel room I unpack, set up work areas and lay out toiletries in the exact same fashion every time. Settling, nesting, temporary home making...who knows. Perhaps all this says about me is that its time to go home. just four more days.

back for a minute.

2009-10-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm half way through my jet setting month. My laptop took a turn for the worse in Victoria BC two weeks ago and I spent a week in NYC sans computer. It was an interesting thing to travel without a computer and all the necessary accessories. Initially it was a freeing experience but eventually all the ways in which I rely on my computer were magnified.

New York was amazing. The PhotoPlus expo was crazy and exhausting as always. This year I managed to spend time with some of my favorite people in the industry. Its easy to forget how rejuvenating it can be to spend time with people who have always inspired me. Its icing on the cake to meet new people who bring new levels of inspiration. oh so good.

I leave again on Friday this time for a week in Zion. Another work trip but not a bad place to work.

soon...more photos less words.

in your absence.

2009-10-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

Here is what I love about days like today.

After all of the wind yesterday, the violent gusts, branches breaking under the force, Missoula is quiet this morning. Downtown there are so few people out and the somber day has a peaceful feel, as if it's quietly relishing the absence of wind.

broken wrist and stormy skies.

2009-09-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went out for my first shoot with Athena since I broke my wrist. The sky was amazing, the wind was blowing and my pent up creativity went wild. I'm still limited by my wrist in movement and the amount I can--should--do but I managed to roll around on the ground anyhow. Dirt and brush never felt so good after weeks of laying on a couch. My eyes were immediately drawn to the skyline, then inside my my own world, returning to the sky just in time. The sun slide from behind the storm illuminating a small sliver of sky between the clouds and the horizon. Such a good day.

reunion in dreams

2009-07-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

I've been dreaming about people from my past. People I haven't seen in a very long time. Its interesting to see the way my mind creates their faces, their personalities, the ways in which we interact. As familiar as the people are, we meet in places I've never been: restaurants, beaches, a bus with bright yellow seats. This is especially fascinating as I'm working on a project called the distance between dream and reality. diana camera. nyc.

7.17

2009-07-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

today my mind is in these brackish pools in hawaii. I might love the word brackish even more than I loved swimming in the cool, clear water.

more photos from the road--san francisco

2009-07-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

take off	nickle machines @ the warf	corner of columbus
	yup my fish-eye loved sf

photos from the road.

2009-07-14T12:43:00.001-07:00

...where are you...

2009-07-08T09:03:00.001-07:00

yes. hello. I've been...all over the place. Idaho, Florida, California, Hawaii. I've driven back and forth across Montana a few times. While I've been everywhere else, I've been incredibly absent from this space. I spend so much of my time in this virtual world and sometimes the fresh air and sun on my face feels oh so good. I took an extended vacation. Yesterday for the first time in a very long time I had a printing session. I decided that I needed to touch and feel my photos. So in a flurry of paper and ink I printed a ton of images and tacked them to my office walls in corresponding groups. For as little work as that was, I'm not sure why I don't do it more often. It feels productive. I often tell students to surround themselves with their work yet I don't do it enough. Do as I say...but now do as I do. what else have I been doing? playing. switching back and forth between my diana camera and my 5d. Each time, I switch I get that new toy feeling which is so awesome. what I've liked--or loved in the past few months.

birds are fascinating. I didn't photograph them as I was assisting a workshop in South Florida and had to attend to students but watching them was fantastic.
San Francisco and a fish eye lenses are best friends. Ohhh so much fun!
I would move to maui. I might be addicted to surfing-yeah, I went twice but it has my soul.
I still love my breathing underwater project which I was able to work on in maui.
lighting storms in eastern montana.
I love junk. yup. rusty, corroded, exploding seat-stuffing, sun bleached cars are still some of my favorite things to photograph. I'm going to have to figure out what that says about me.
Will has taken charge of my 20D...this makes road trips much easier on me because he's into it. very fun to photograph together.

in the spirit of travel...

I love...

2009-03-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

I'm all about process these days and I love this video.

ahh...art day

2009-02-23T10:25:00.000-08:00

There are days where everything falls into place to create. Saturday was one of those days. I've always been filled with ideas but very rarely let myself execute the ideas. To be honest, I realize just how much trial and error there is in art and I over schedule myself too often to give it a good go. Not today (okay Saturday)...maybe not from here on. My great ideas only live so long inside my mind. They need to breath, work out, expand...I will let myself exercise my ideas, I will let myself exercise my ideas, I will let myself exercise my ideas...(200 times on the chalkboard).... It was a great experimenting day. The gel medium hasn't quite worked out the way I hoped. Its dry but I think it made the ink in my photos bleed. I used a non-coated paper so that might be the problem. I'm still pretty intrigued by the gel but I have some kinks to work out. On the other hand I love the wax. It's hard to get it perfectly flat but the ski waxing iron has been a big help (no holes in the bottom). I made two different test pieces today. The first is the bird panel. I haven't added the words but I like the look so far. Then I did a small test with a couple different Diana images. Anyway. It was fun doing and documenting. the panels. Gel medium....maybe too thick. diana images and wax after the first coat of wax

screaming into pillows.

2009-02-10T16:54:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I used to channel excess energy, either good or bad, by screaming into a pillow. It seemed the best way to let off steam. I could scream as loud and long as I wanted and not worry about being too loud and crazy or upsetting my mom. It was perhaps the most fantastic thing I taught myself to do. Somewhere in the span of growing up I forgot those pillow moments. I replaced down filled rectangles with friends who would listen when I'm sad or upset. My pure excitement and joy was channeled into other things such as laughter or words that more effectively expressed my feelings. Today, amid a moment of frustration and slight panic, as result of life claustrophobia, I remembered the pillow. Even the thought of screaming until my lungs ran out of air made me feel better. Then, I put a one sentence, nondescript statement, out into the world via twitter, "There are just some frustrations that aren't worth it. Right?" I'm not even sure what I meant and yet it made me feel better. As my fingers typed the words, the frustration seeped into the keys, onto the screen and out into an unknown world. Relief. A new method of copping? A way to forcefully eject the emotion, through it back to where it came from. Perhaps just a band aid. I still may go and scream into my pillow just for kicks.

poetry.

2009-01-31T09:14:00.000-08:00

I've been researching poetry lately. Basically this means that I read poems when I can, and study the what, the who, the why. I've been paying attention to the words in a way I never have before because of my interest in combining my words with my images. This morning as I sat down to read from an anthology I was struck by just how beautiful a small glimpse into a person's life can be--even the most mundane moments. There is something to be said for the slow down. This seems to be a reoccurring phrase in my life. In a world of a million miles per hour, a million frames per second, giving someone an opportunity to stop and appreciate one detailed moment is more then important, it is imperative. Is it possible that our memories will fade more rapidly because we are constantly inundated with more, faster? Maybe. Who can say? I suppose it makes me that much more compelled to create a space for these moments.

the tangled strand of images.

2009-01-25T12:13:00.000-08:00

I have a bit of a back log of blog entries. My constant awareness of my inability to spell makes me write all entries in word first. Depending on my energy level—okay sheer laziness makes it difficult sometimes to highlight my words, copy and paste them into the blog. My Las Vegas entry however was written when I was conserving money since the hotel charged 15.00 for Internet access. That town is just unbelievable. Today instead of joining Will for a crusty day of snowboarding I decided to stay at home and get some work done. House work, work on my books, thank you notes, processing images, etc. I started to work in Pikto, on my 2008 book, and as I was waiting for downloads I decided to work on untangling my photo garland I made for Christmas. As I took it off the tree the thin, delicate, thread that held the images together inevitably tangled. Its been sitting on my guest room bed now for weeks waiting for a little attention. The multi-tasker that I am decided that this was a perfect mid-download task to take on. The first few tangles were relatively loose and easy to figure out but as I reached the end the knots became smaller, tighter and more complicated. I physically changed my positions around this mess several times in hopes that the new angle would help. Still a mess. It suddenly struck me that this mess of images was quite a tangible metaphor for my whole approach to my art. I made the strand of images in a burst of creativity. I printed and strung them all together at once in a fit of determination and focus. As it hung on my Christmas tree I had plans for this strand. Life after Christmas was going to be just as eventful for this linear collage. Then as Christmas passed, I cleaned up, took down the garland and piled it in a heap. Historically, this is where many of my ideas and art stay, a semi-forgotten mess on an unused bed. This is why I am particularly struck by my determination to resurrect this little mess. There has clearly been a shift in my attitude towards my art. The voice that previously told me to leave it, forget it, it’s not worth spending the time, has been over powered by a new voice. This voice confirms the importance of my work, if only to myself. It has to start somewhere. It’s amazing that I’ve spent so many years in a state of self-doubt, side lining my talents because I couldn’t believe in them. It’s still easy to say but hard to believe sometimes. One day at a time. One step at a time. One thought at a time. Resurrecting one little mess--no, one work of art at a time.

nerd report.

2009-01-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

My life straddles two worlds: The technical and the artistic. The first consists of hard facts and numbers, a constant puzzle of information that seems to lead me to the second world. The more artistic world is where I want to be…it is where I want to live but I’m coming to realize that that I need that puzzle of information to allow me to exist there. This is an interesting relationship, I’ve really only discovered the connection recently—perhaps only just today. The two have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. When we got our first VCR, I set it up. I was seven. I’d never really used a VCR. It just made sense; I found it to be an intuitive invention. In fourth grade I realized how powerful my words could be when I wrote an essay for a Veterans Day contest and won. Of course it took many more years, heart ache and loss of innocence to really understand my love of words. These events made me look back and recognize where it all began. I was so innocent. These things happened in my life and rather than knowing or understanding what they said about, how they shaped me, it simply was and I continued with the day to day.

Today was the day I realized the connection between the two the technical and artistic. My focus has moved between them fluidly, but as if they were strangers on a sidewalk each going the opposite direction. Only at one moment are they side by side. They are on parallel paths but seemingly run opposite directions. For the past six months I have gained a deeper appreciation for art in my life. I’ve entered a conversation with my art and I’ve really enjoyed it. I’ve enjoyed the process more then ever before. I’ve recognized the importance.

Today as I stood in the convention hall of the consumer electronics show talking about the technical aspects of cameras and photography with each curious passerby, I realized that I need one to support the other. My love of the technical isn't running in the opposite direction of my art. In fact the two are arm-in-arm. In my mind there was an epic struggle between the two and they would never be able to co exist. Really, the struggle was just another road block to stop my own creativity. Ahhh, the old you are your own worst enemy factor.

2009...year of the book.

2008-12-31T14:49:00.000-08:00

okay I lied. I'm making a project list for 2009--but that's it. No other resolutions. Really these aren't resolutions this is a task list, a to do list, an organized brain storm...

2008. a collection in book form of my favorite photographs, writings, other projects from 2008.
0-7-11. my collected writings about my brother and sister.
The cabin project. compile the photos and memories from my families cabin--in book form.
preserved memories. photo/word collages in an encaustic medium.
continue my dog walk project and figure out how to present the images.
play.

winter

2008-12-31T08:26:00.000-08:00

Its been snowing a fair amount in Missoula lately. Well, snow, then rain, then snow and so on. That's the Missoula way--banana belt of Montana. On Monday, Athena and I set out to take photographs in a flurry of big flakes. As I was walking through the snow towards the river I realized that as much as I love winter I very rarely take photographs of winter. So that was my project. Well it became a multi-part project, I wanted to take the photos, then write, then create some mixed media with the two...I took the photos, now its time to write. Here are a few of the photos.

Camaro loves the snow. I supposed that makes sense for a husky. I couldn't resist photographing his excitement.

Athena and I took at least six self timed photos each trying to get this to work. This one is my favorite for sure.

Christmas

2008-12-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

So in the spirit of Christmas and girlArt I want to share my Christmas art project (Marcy and Athena bare with me). My tree just didn't look quite right. Since I've spent only one Christmas without my family...ever... I have very few decorations. As I was sitting looking at my Charlie Brown-esque tree I was inspired by girlArt and decided to make a photo garland. I chose about 60 images from 2008 and printed them out, cut them up, and sewed them together with red thread. Ladies, I'll gush a little due to the champagne I just drank, but also because I'm just so thankful for your art and its effect on me. So here are the photos. I hope you all have had a great Christmas. I look forward to January's meeting.

the end of 2008

2008-12-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

So here I am. Eight days way from a new year. I think I'm going to like 2009. I liked 2008, don't get me wrong. I had a great year but there is something that feels good about 2009. New president. New hope for the bigger picture. With all the financial woes and looming monetary crises I'm ready for something new. Even if it is only shinny and bright for a moment. I'm also ready for 2009 because for the first time in my life I feel like I have a good start. I'm going into the new year on solid ground, good practices, movement towards general awesomeness. I have no plans on making New Years resolutions because I've made some kick-ass resolutions throughout this past year that I've consistently revised, revisited and they have become a part of my everyday life. Some days I'm amazing at following through. Some days...not so much. Either way I move forward. I like this. It feels good. I have my ladies at girlArt to keep me in check, on the path toward creativity and productivity. I may have used girArt as training wheels of sorts. Now, as they run along side cheering me on, I am off. I'm creating my own momentum, navigating the bumps in the road, but I have a good start. Thank you ladies. So yeah...I'm ready for the new year. bring it.

links...

2008-12-18T13:21:00.000-08:00

So today is a great day to ask me about links. I've been looking at blogs, website, portfolios a lot today as I wait for the database to load pages. I look at the 20x200 blog a lot. It is updated almost daily and has great work. Its not just photography which is great sometimes. Also, I was telling Elizabeth about the ultraviolet portraits, by Cara Phillips. In her works page there is a link to the "ultra violet beauties". I look at HoboEye.com once a month or so for writing inspiration, the art and music reviews. http://www.designspongeonline.com/ is a good all around design blog. I'll keep updating as I remember more.

some links...

2008-12-17T14:12:00.000-08:00

I went back and found an article on procrastination and thought I would post the link. I do suffer from major procrastination--I don't think its life threatening, yet. The other thing I've really been lovin' like McLovin is the New York Times Art & Design web page. It has great slide shows, articles and news. Just wanted to share. p

cabin project

2008-11-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

This is a project that I started working on over labor day when I was at "the cabin." My parents bought the small, no frills, cabin on Petit Lake when I was six or seven. I've been thinking a lot about how this place bolstered my imagination, built my connection to my family, created a love of the mountains and water...pretty significant place. Recently, my parents were discussing the idea of selling the cabin. This created a slight panic in me...not that I would loose it, but more that I wouldn't have a chance to really photograph this place. I've thought about it for years, the cabin project has loomed in my mind, but the idea of losing it lit a fire under my ass, so to speak. In this series and there are many, many more photos of both the inside and outside of the cabin, I was trying take photos of things that are very unique to the cabin and its character...most of the stuff came with the cabin. I was trying to capture the essence of the cabin but include the softening of images/memory that happens over time. I was really trying to photograph the things that were significant to me as a child...as and adult...very fun. My project will eventually include words and my ultimate goal is to turn it into a book...handmade, blurb, pikto...haven't figured that part out yet.

Mi Vacacion

2008-11-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

I could know all the tech stuff in the world but I still would be lost on the blog page in Mexico. The blog itself is in english but all the login information was not...I was a quite lost for awhile. So here I am in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. It has been a wonderfully relaxing vacation although quite different from anything I have ever experienced. Interesting to be in a different place where people love or hate you regardless of who you are. We are staying at a pretty classy resort and I've found myself retreating to its safe--if not bland--gringo world for most of this week. From the very get go, just off the plane, we were bombarded by people claiming to be from the hotel we are staying at, promising adventures, tequila, the world for no cost. I've never really experienced it on this level before. A couple of times that we have walked down the beach to go to the center of town and have had people yelling for us to eat at the restaurant, try their adventure company, drink, smoke, jewelry, blankets, mangos. It’s a tourist assault. Not since the propositioning prostitutes in San Jose, Costa Rica, have I felt so under attack just for being a visitor. I was even yelled at for speaking spanish to a guy. He FREAKED out! So we decided to stay within the roped off beach, among the Californians and Seattlites--not something I have ever opted for in a vacation. So how has this affected my photography? I am drawn to the quiet, the simple aspects of this place. It is amazingly beautiful and I'm trying to bask in the quiet and relaxing qualities that it brings. I’ve been fairly focused on the ocean. Will, just so you all know, is quite intrigued by the blog. We are sitting watching the elections--GObama--and he keeps checking in on my progress on the blog. He says he's never seen blogging in action and is quite interested.

Buenos.

2008-11-04T13:54:00.000-08:00